I've made my peace

This isn't a rant, but I have to get this off my chest.


I have never felt happier doing what I did tonight. I have never felt so alive doing it and I feel so at peace. This thing that makes me so happy? It's snowboarding.

When I'm on that hill, no one cares who you are or what you need to be, you're just going down a hill. It's simple, it's exhilarating, it's fun. I feel like I have nothing to worry about. Even when I hit the ground hard, I don't care. Fuck I LIKE hitting the ground. that's how much this makes me feel happy. Right now, I'm bumped, bruised and sore, but fuck I would do it again. I'd run down those hills another hundred times. I'd go for a whole day non-stop. I want to do this so much that I had gone yesterday for 4 hours and begged to go tonight.

If I could, I'd go a whole day. Just going down the hill. carving, balancing and jumping off hills of snow. The rush of the cold against my face makes me feel alive. If I broke my arm doing this, I'd still be fucking happy. This is a great start to a new year and right now I feel like there's nothing that can make me feel worse.

This is how I feel when I fight. Everything is peaceful, you woes disappear, and in that moment you're bonding with someone, getting to know them better than their families ever could without ever exchanging a word. It's exhilarating that you might get hurt, but it feels great and you keep going. And one day you fight and that warrior spirit just envelops you, making you feel like you're one with everything around you. Suddenly your body becomes a vessel of the warrior inside and you become unstoppable.

This is the greatest thing for me.