Bricks will be Shat

So we all know that Twilight fans are insane, but how insane do you think they really are?

on Friday, Grimnir showed me this website that's basically a haven for Twilight haters. one of their threads is a directory for all of their listed fan attacks, and two of them really caught my eye. So for a little reading, and brick shitting, here's a few links:

Twilight Fan Attack Directory

A Duel of Literature

The Reason why you always make sure you're never working with a psycho in chem class

I had a fan girl attack me. I said that the next movie will be called Twilight 2... Don't... say that if you want kids and you don't want the embarrassment of getting your ass kicked by a girl. A very tiny girl at that...

she actually beat you up? dude, she's so short you should've been able to hold her off with one hand.

I'm always looking for a rollicking good fight. I might pick this up as a sport. That is, antagonizing sixteen year old girls.

Don't you already do that? Isn't that like, your only means of income?

So I've read most of the anecdotes in this database and they all sound like complete lies.

Yeah, Twilight fans do get pissed but seriously, if you let one hurt you, you're a fucking pussy. The stories are lies anyway so it doesn't matter.

Yes, but this time it won't involve the sex.

EDIT: Also, Trevlac, you do NOT need TWO fucking signatures. What was wrong with having the one? Two! Jesus Christ!

I can't stop using the tarot one cause it's part of a set and the new one is coolies.

I only got beat up by her because she played dirty >=[.

How bad are the books? I've avoided them just as I avoided the Eregon phenomenon and the AIDS of extreme Harry Potter fandom.
Like, I'll be the first to call the Potter books flawed as hell. That doesn't mean they weren't enjoyable, they were, but I never wrote long, illegible defensive screeds for them on forums insisting on their perfection and total awesomeness. Probably because I'm not a coddled middle class suburban douche who assumes that their opinion is the only valid one.

Generic Twilight rebuttle:

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!? TEAM JACOB OR SOMETHING!? YOUR SO GAY TWILIGHT IS THE BEST BOOK EVER! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT WHATSOEVER! YOU OPINION IS FLAWED! YOU'RE STUPID! I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE! I WAS THE ORIGINAL FANBOY/GIRL! I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG AND FINAL FANTASY SEVEN IF PERFECT!

I'm sort of like that with science at times.

WHAT??? CREATIONISM??? YOU STUPID CUNT YOU KNOW NOTHING OF OUR COLD, AWESOMELY SOULLESS UNIVERSE AND THE INTERPLAY OF BLIND FORCES!!!!!!!

Of course, that's justified. Science is rad as shit.

https://2img.net/h/i7.photobucket.com/albums/y261/Kiniro/1233979587486.jpg

You brought SCIENCE upon yourself.

Daius wrote:YOU'RE WRONG AND FINAL FANTASY SEVEN IS PERFECT!

Oh God, I remember that. I lolled SO HARD.

Back to the books. Eragon and Harry Potter were both highly enjoyable. They weren't without flaws but they weren't written like fanfics such as the way Twilight is written.

I started trying to read the E-book on my iPod touch. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm NOT exaggerating when I say it was written like a fanfic. IT WAS. Just a fanfic without spelling errors. The whole time I'm reading it I keep subconsciously thinking "What original story is this based on? Not Underworld...not Vampire the Masquerade...dammit I swear I know this. What's this a fanfic of dammit?!"

If you're going to write a vampire story, for fuck's sake, give them some sort of independent personality. Have a vampire that's cheerful, likes painting pigeons, and throws oranges at people who get on his lawn. (those damn kids...)

Have a werewolf who has a drinking problem and sometimes likes to wear a little sweater when he is a wolf.

Have a demon who smokes cigarettes at night in the guise of a French Neo-Trotskyist with a priest he met a a motocross event who he secretly has a crush on.

BE
FUCKING
ORIGINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Trevlac wrote:

Daius wrote:YOU'RE WRONG AND FINAL FANTASY SEVEN IS PERFECT!

Oh God, I remember that. I lolled SO HARD.

you're lucky you know that? because you actually get to find that funny, because you don't hear it every other fucking day. it used to be funny. now, it's just fucking retarded spam for me.